The TV shows I was raised on promised that parenting was supposed to be fun, didn't they? Didn't all children eventually respond politely to the TV moms? Didn't they all turn around by the time they were 10? Now, in reality, it seems like every other day I hear from one of my friends about children having temper tantrums in Walmart, teenagers having babies, or children and teenagers running away. It's an epidemic. Our very fast paced world, with fast food and fast cars, has evolved into an ultra-fast parenting style. Our fast developing world of technology, communications & non-communication has unwittingly helped us to turn our children and teenagers into lazy, unproductive, spoiled rascals! I know this was unintentional, but nevertheless it is happening.
Parenting has evolved in such a way that we believe our two year olds are supposed to have screaming fits in Walmart; they are not! We believe it is normal for our tweens and teenagers to rebel; it is not! It is extremely disturbing to me that we believe it is normal to see our children and teenagers on prescription medicines for different behavior problems! This is not normal!!!
In the days where traditional punishment like spankings are controversial and have been literally outlawed in 29 countries around the globe, like Spain and Austria, and time-outs only work up to the age of nine, what is the correct answer as to how to discipline or punish our children and teenagers in today's world? With the clear lack of an answer to this question it is blankly obvious that many well-meaning parents have given up. They have accepted the poor behavior simply because they do not know what to do.
Still, there are some important parenting tools you can use to create amazing results with your child or teenager, and when you do, you will turn the undesirable progress around! These are parenting tools that work!
Do you Know Your Role as a Parent? Have you ever thought about this question? What is your role, your job description, your duties, as a parent? My husband Thomas and I have personally posed this question to over 300 parents and the responding answer is generally the same. First, there is a deer in the headlights look and then you usually hear, “Uhhhh…to make my child or teenager happy?” “Support them and give them a good life?” All of those things are wonderful and I believe that all parents would choose the same outcome for their child or teenager.
It is most often the same parent who gives these answers who is yelling at their child or teenager out of frustration. It is most often this parent who is the most hurt and upset that their child or teenager does not respect her as a mother or him as a father. Your child or teenager is waiting for you to take on and Know Your Role as a Parent! Take control as a parent by telling them exactly what you expect from them.
Take the time to write down: 1. What you would love for them to learn by the time they are 18; 2. Exactly what your expectations are for them right now; 3. The answer to what is important to your child or teenager. (You get this by asking them what is important to them.) Then and only then, you will know what is important to both them and you. Now, you know what your role consist of here. It is important to Know Your Role as a Parent. Write it up now.