Even if parenting children with behavior problems seems like an uphill task, we should never forget that we should always try to build their self esteem by using encouragement and praise when warranted. That is the key to building confidence in a child. But many parents forget this because they are so absorbed by all the bad and negative behavior that they forget that there is often a sensitive vulnerable child in front of them. Many parents are also unaware of how their own problems are getting in the way of effective parenting.
I often see parents bored and uninterested and I wonder how much prime time they actually give their kids. Time spent with them on sports and hobbies is one of the greatest ways of bonding It is also an ideal opportunity to teach them our views and principles on things like respect for others, the environment and caring for others less well off than ourselves. It is really the best way we have of displaying and acting out our values.
Children are great copy cats so if have unresolved issues with anger, relationships, weight control and so on, we should never display our frustrations and anger when we have to live with these. Children are great imitators and they will even pick up vibes such as anger and frustration very quickly.
The other great problem we face in parenting children with behavior problems is to whether to be too strict or simply too laid back. I know parents who are so strict that they do not allow their kids any luxuries and very little freedom. They also insist and demand on getting great grades at school. They seem to be living out their own frustrations as kids. At the other end of the spectrum are those parents who could not care less and are extremely laid back and relaxed.
As we can see, the great problem here is that neither extreme allows our kids to grow up independently so that they can begin to learn about life and decide what beliefs, values and principles they will adopt. Neither the control freak nor the friendly parent can really achieve that.
There is a need for a happy medium because neither parenting style real works. The control freak decides everything but the child is defensive and then rebels. The overweening parent lets the child do whatever he wants and is always there to help out when the going gets tough. Again, this can lead to considerable problems down the road. Parenting children with behavior problems has never been easy.