To cultivate a child with discretion, self-confidence, and sense of responsibility, the parents must understand to award power to the child. This is a win-win approach. They don't need others to tell them what to do, and they want to be themselves and to master all the things. Children gradually experience the existence of “power” in the environment and also believe they have the ability to use this power. For example, they use the way of asking questions to avoid going to bed.
A 4-year-old child is not stable in his lust for power development, he is not sure how to do, but he will follow the pattern of parents to fix his orbit. Power control can help children build self-confidence, and enable him a sense of responsibility, develop good self-control and ability to judge, thus can benefit the people and pay the courage to care for all people and things around. The following are four proposals for parents.
First, do not suppress the child's own ideas
Of course, parents have more power then children, but it is better for parents to persuasion rather than suppress the child's ideas. If the child refuses to do what parents want them to, he just wants to have things on their own initiative. If parents understand and respect this, release some power benefits the child's development.
Second, support child in his own right
Parents can support the child to manage their own, and to remind him what the boundaries. When children make their own choice, they feel being initiative and very happy. For example, when it is time to go to bed, you can ask the child, “Do you want first to listen to stories? Or put on pajamas?” The two options are both implying him to go to bed.
Third, parents maintain an appropriate authority
Many parents might receive an extreme authoritarian parenting approach in their childhood, and they have never enjoyed this right to express their views. Is this way right? If the child is fighting for his own autonomy and liberty rather than other the right to manage other people, they are right.
Fourth, let children keep their promises
Parents give their child the tight to choose but must implant him the concept to keep his promises. That is to at the same time insist on some principles good for the child. For example, he choose to go to bed at 9:00, but the time is up, he still refuses to go to bed, parents should be strict to require him to keep his promises.