If your child or teenager does nothing when you are not around, but will help with reminders from you every ten minutes, every Saturday, only, then join the 98% of parents out there. Just because this is happening does not mean it should be accepted or even tolerated, however, the parenting style you choose when you handle the scenario with your child or teenager will make the difference between a negative experience and a positive parenting experience.
If you are reading this, I will assume that you have had some power struggles with your child or teenager over chores and homework. Here is a scenario, you come home from work and your child is playing a video game instead of doing what he is supposed to do. In doing what the parent believes is best for the child, the child is ridiculed and then punished, yelled at or, worse yet, ignored while Mom or Dad do everything.
Here are 3 Positive Parenting Strategies for Moving Your Child
or Teenager to Action.
1. Take the time to teach your child the life skill you are expecting them to do.
This means that you pick up the clothes off the floor and place them in the laundry hamper while your child watches you. Next, put everything back on the floor the way it was before, and finally you watch your child pick every item off the floor and put it in the hamper. Repeat this process with every chore until your child completes the task exactly the way that you teach them.
These three steps are necessary for you to go through with every chore and expectation you have set out for them. Never assume they know how to do a task, even if it is as simple as putting clothes in the hamper.
2. Know the reward for your child or teenager.
Pay close attention to the things your child or teenager asks you for. They can be simple things like watching a favorite TV program, playing outside with a friend, or having a friend come over on the weekend, or they can be bigger items that your child can earn over a long period of time like a new bicycle, an Xbox or a cell phone. Create an entire list of arsenal for your child to work towards earning. These are your child's goals and their fuel to move.
3. Set your child or teenager up for success by having a mutual agreement.
Sit your child down and explain, “Little Timmy, I know that it is important for you to have some outside time with Gregory after school. You may have 30 minutes, 60 minutes or 90 minutes outside depending on what you choose to do. If you do one thing on the list you will earn 30 minutes, if you do two things, you will earn 60 minutes, and if you do everything on the list, you will earn yourself 90 minutes of outside time every day! So tell me Timmy, what do you need to do to earn a full 90 minutes of outside time every day?” And little Timmy will answer, “If I complete all the things on my list before you get home, I will earn 90 minutes of outside time, Mom.”
Once you know that your child knows how to do what you expect of him or her and you know the reward for your child or teenager, you remove all complaining from the equation as long as you stick to your guns on your agreement. These effective positive parenting strategies are just the beginning of the Creating Champions for Life journey.
This article was inspired by the Creating Champions for Life philosophy out of direct modules from the positive parenting program, CCFL Home Study System. You can find more parenting articles from this amazing child rearing philosophy and the parenting book, A Simple Way to Guide Children and Teenagers to Happiness, Success and Gratitude, by visiting our website at CreatingChampionsforLife.com.
Copyright 2012 Thomas Liotta and Bonnie Liotta