The basic rule in parenting is knowing what your kids do and how they do. It means knowing about your child's behavior, attitude, and other emotional characteristics.
Many of us have heard the phrase that 'Children are like sponges'. They absorb the characteristics of their parents as they grow. Parents can model a variety of behaviors to their children like anger, sorrow, happiness, etc. So we parents should always make sure that we set a good example for our kids.
Honestly, most of us find parenting a difficult job. As your children grow and mature, you find it difficult to connect with them. Children may tend to feel that their parents are bossy and dictators. Yeah, that is true. We all must have felt the same when we were kids and hated our parents for pestering to do things that despised us. Sometimes we feel we are at a crossroads, confused with the road to take to be a good parent.
To be a good parent, you need to understand your children and care for them. At a small age, children like to depend on their parents for everything. They are just like cuckoo birds that are so much attached to their parents and refuse to even leave them when they start to fly. But unlike a cuckoo bird, as your children grow up, they become matured and prefer to be away from their family. They get engulfed in the circle of friends, colleagues, girlfriends, etc and parents become their last priority. Most of us are possessive of our kids and care for them. It is okay to be possessive but you should remember that you need to give space to them. As they reach adolescent years, they need freedom and space to live their lives in their own way. Controlling them is not a good option and seriously dictating terms is only going to make them more rebellious.
Gosh! Parenting is really a tough job. Well yeah! Being a parent is no walk in a park. You need to know the psychology of children and their behavior. Some children are like molten lava waiting to burst at any moment. Others are quiet and peaceful like angels. You need to analyze your children's behavior before approaching them.
The best tactic in parenting is being like a friend to your kids. I know it sounds absurd, but it will actually help you to understand more about your child. Children will literally tell and share anything to their friends. Whether it is their darkest secrets, first crush, love etc, they find it better to tell their friends rather than their parents. Don't try to dictate terms and rules to your kids. You can lay the rules and curfews and be sometimes lenient on them. Suppose your daughter comes after her curfew time, you can let it go and don't need to make a mess about it. But if she keeps repeating it, then you could be harsh and stricter with her. You can ground her and try to make her realize her mistakes. Sometimes your daughter may feel that you are trying to destroy her life and suppress her freedom. In this case, you need to sit down and talk with her and explain that as a parent you are caring and protecting her. Your daughter will soon realize and if not she will when she becomes a parent.
Praising and motivating your kids is very good. Try to occasionally praise and motivate your children when they do good and helpful things. If you notice your children doing homework or your son playing with his little sister, take a moment to say something specific like “Thanks for getting your homework done” or “I like how you and your sisters are playing together”.
Always spend some quality family time with your kids. You could rent a movie from your video library or watch the latest movies on the Movies-on Demand feature of your TV, connected by service providers like Dish TV Packages. Even going for long weekend trips to beaches and locations will surely help you to bond with your kids.
Frankly, parenting can be the most stressful and rewarding job of your life. Ultimately we can think of ways we would do things differently from our parents. No doubt our kids will find ways to parent differently from us.